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Talk:HMS Gloucester (1909)

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:HMS Gloucester (1909)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 05:28, 30 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

First reading

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  • In general, this is a well-written article about a ship which took part in quite a limited range of actions.
  • In general, it does not make clear who was in command of the vessel.
    • My sources usually don't tell me who was in command.
  • Where does the information in the info box come from?
    • It's all sourced in the description section.
  • You could mention the compliment of crew in the main body of text.
    • Doh!, done.
  • "The Bristol sub-class[Note 1] was rated as second-class cruisers" - were rather than was.
    • BritEng handling of collective nouns always throws me.
  • "This armament was considered rather too light for ships of this size" - by whom?
    • Added.
  • "As the protective deck was at the waterline, the ships were given a large metacentric height so that they would remain stable in the event of flooding above the armoured deck." - this sentence mixes singular and plural.
    • Yes, that's deliberate. The design elements are singular while reference to the ships keeps things from getting monotonous.
  • The last sentence in the "Design and description" section needs extra punctuation.
    • See if it reads better now.
  • "As tensions role with Germany in the first few days of August 1914" - Typo.
  • "Therefore, Milne stationed the battlecruiser Inflexible and Indefatigable ..." - This sentence is too long and convoluted.
    • Indeed, see how it reads now.
  • You do not mention who was in command of Gloucester in 1914.
    • Umm, Kelly is mentioned in command during the pursuit of Goeben, which is August 1914.
  • "... landing 100 Royal Marines." - Do you mean that Gloucester went to Galway in order to land the marines?
    • It seems so, although I don't have detailed enough info to specifically state that.
  • You mention Beatty at the Battle of Jutland, but you do not state who he was.
    • Good catch.
That's all for now. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:00, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for reviewing this.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:00, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I am happy with the changes made and think this article meets the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:44, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]